21 November 2008

The "Gift" of the Gab (or is is a Curse?)

Ever since my pregnancy and child’s birth, I have been afflicted with what has been called the “gift of the gab” by some. Since previously I have been much more laid back and quite a good listener, I am not sure what has brought this on. Perhaps it is the hormones activating an otherwise dormant gene (as there are certainly chatterers in my family) and/or sleep deprivation leaving my thoughts uncensored. Maybe living in the islands might have had an effect as there everyone has time to talk and listen and there is not much else to do. Or perhaps it is the isolation of single-motherhood that makes me unleash and process with whomever’s ear I get a hold of. Another theory might be that it is a form of controlling the conversation, since everything else around me seems utterly out of control. I have seen controlling people use this technique, whereby their reality is the only reality since nobody else can get a word in edge-wise. But the thing is I really don’t consider it a gift at all, but rather a curse. I often come away from visits feeling rather unfulfilled, whereas before I felt plumped up with good sharing about what was going on in my friends’ lives after a good give and take like a social dance between friends sharing their foibles and fables of the moment. I have also noticed that some people just stop listening as my voice begins to sound like incessant background noise. Yet, I just can’t seem to stop. This is my curse, which I am hoping will recede once my hormones disperse and I start getting some sleep again. But for now, I will rant on my blog and spare my friends…. Is anyone still listening? Hello? Anyone?

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